elanya

I had another weird dream last night - this is probably a cue that I'm not sleeping super well. Too much caffeine lately I guess. I am going to blame the buses :p

I don't remember the beginning of this one much at all. But a bunch of us were building tiny homes/sheds/cabins/trailers. Maybe for larp? Or like the ones I have seen people build on larp properties... I saw a post about these on facebook yesterday and that's probably why they are featuring, anyway. Also planning a cabin trip at the end of next month so maybe that's in there too. In this case, there was some kind of city injunction (maybe unofficial?) against them, and they had been trying to make it really hard to build them. So like - you couldn't buy certain kinds of siding that werte used in these projects, or if you could you weren't allowed to install it in some places (like you had to take it out of town), and the...presumably hardware store that we were dealing with didn't want to order it for us unless we took it off the premise directly. We in this case were me and my friend Claire, who has been showing up in my weird dreams a lot lately (I actually dreamed last night that we went to get ramen. or at least that was part of it).

Anyway, in last night's dream I remember having a big package of vinyl siding delivered that I had to get from the store. idk what a package of vinyl siding actually looks like but this was a quite large plastic wrapped box, and the end of it had a label affixed. I do remember seeing my little shed on a trailer as well.

Claire wanted to use some kind of wooden siding or shingles that had been outlaws ages ago, but there was this other stuff you could get that was basically the same but longer pieces. It was a very dumb shape - but kind of looked like baseboard, except that one fo the ling sides ad a piece cut out. I can imagine it but not describe it, apparenlty - sorry ;p Anyway, she got a bunch of that and was just going to saw it into pieces by herself. She had a regular handsaw to do this and was working on it at the store behind some wooden shelves in a little empty alcove with pale yellow walls and a low ceiling. IDK why I remmber these very pointless details. The older butch lady who ran the hardware store was basically politely ignoring our crimes against traditional housing. For some reason Ruth was there working on her own project (she was maybe also building a shed/trailer/whatever - I'm not sure). I offered to go get one of my saws from home for Claire, and Ruth was like "is it going to be powerful enough? It would need to be at least 43 [nonsense dream units of some kind, idk]." I think she was going to offer something of her own if we didn't have anything. We have a jigsaw and a sawzall at home irl, but the jigsaw is not mine. This was all true in my dream as well, except they were both blue and not orange. Anyway, I said I had a sawzall, and she was like "Oh yeah that would be perfect." And then I went to get my saw. That's about all I remember.

I had a dream last night and as usual only remember bits and pieces. I was doing some kind of conservation job – I remember there were a lot of rusted materials that needed conservation, but tit wasn’t at my work. I remember a white lab space with everything laid out on trays on tables. Julie was also working somewhere different, and she was annoyed because there was a statue on her work property under her care that had gone viral. It was an old statue of a dude, on a column on a plinth in an outdoor… I can’t think of the word, but it had its own marble enclosure, kind of like the Lincoln monument, but this guy was standing. He was wearing revolutionary war era clothes with a tricorn and the flared frock coat. But if you were standing on the steps up to the statue from a certain angle, it looks like the glass column was going right up his butt. So it became known as the glass dildo statue (I guess the column was glass? Who knows – dream). She was annoyed because you had to be standing in the exact right spot to see this effect and she didn’t find it convincing and also she had to deal with all the people who were trying to come see it, as well as all the speculation about whether it was intentional by the artist, and about the dude the statue was of etc.

Somehow related to… this? Or something else? I am rapidly losing details here, but there was some kind of thing found? And then it also became like a popup event. Or maybe it was something that was made – I only have the absolute vaguest memories now of what that was about, but I know that there was a shop that was selling chocolate treats and other sweet snacks associated with this thing, and I was trying to pick out stuff for gifts for people, and I was going to get… something? But then I decided I should get something that was more directly related to the… whatever, or was made of it? Like maybe it was a ‘worlds biggest whatever made of chocolate’ and then they were selling stuff made out of it later? Anyway, I decided not to get that thing, and instead found a package of cookies that were coated in colourful chocolate. The were ring shaped and they kind of looked like blue and teal samoas. They were on a little Styrofoam tray covered in saranwrap and there were about 8 total laid out in two lines so that they partially overlapped, with alternating blue and teal cookies. And then I was looking at fudge and I wanted to get some ‘oreo’ fudge that was like a layered milk fudge (dream) and then a reaaally dark chocolate fudge on the bottom, with chunks of whole broken oreos. I’m sure there were other neat kinds, but that’s the one I saw that called to me and that I remembered. I think I was standing in line for it when I woke up.

Ooof, what a year! But I was very happy with Yuletide, where I got two lovely stories and I managed to create far more than I have all year otherwise.

( Gifts for me! Lovecraft Country and Knitting Anthropomorphic )

( Things I wrote/created! )

I had a dream last night/this morning. I tried narrating it to a text to speech thing on my hone but all I got out of that was a Mess, so I'll try it here again. For context, I used to play percussion in a concert band and marching bands for yeaaaaaars, basically all the way up until I left Fredericton for good.

In my dream I was in a marching band with a bunch of people that I knew. Somehow it came out that they were also in a concert band as well, and invited me to play even though I hadn't done anything like that in a while. There were a bunch of people I actually knew in my dream bu the only ones I can remember are my friend Gale and Kennesaw, ho both played percussion with me. Also there was at least one Matt, who was a tall skinny guy with curly brown hair down to his shoulders who might have been compiled from a few different people I actually know, or just a random dream figment. I knew him in my dream, though.

ANYWAY, as with most of these things, I remember a lot of little details that I don't really know how to fit into a narrative, like how at first I thought they didn't have a base drum but then I saw it just wasn't set up, and stuff like that. We were supposed to be playing this piece and I said I could do the tympani. Only I'd gotten these bi-pride covers for them that were like flags that were supposed to go over the heads, as a surprise for Kennesaw, and I wanted to install it. It shouldn't have been difficult, but as is the way of dreams there were a bunch of stupid obstacles. At first no one could find the key, but it turned out these ones just had a slot in the top of the rod and could basic ally be turned with anything. They were like real tympani, in that the rods were weird - more like just regular bolts in some ways, and despite seeming to be in tune before I started, it turned out one of them was missing. I was messing around with all this stuff and not actually playing in the song and people who didn't know me thought I was just fucking around and didn't know what I was doing, including the conductor. At the end of the run through it turned out that there was someone outside the room (Matt! or *a* Matt anyway - it might have been a different Matt, possibly Kennesaw's brother) who was playing the part on the other set of tympani no one had told me about. So I wasn't contributing anyway and my efforts to put together the surprise were also thwarted and had to be abandoned. Also, my hands were hurting from playing the marching stuff we'd 'done earlier' (part of the dream backstory).

Someone, maybe Gale, suggested we move on to a different piece so I could try something else. But they were playing base and Tall Matt was on snare and Kennesaw was doing something else? So all that was left was cymbals, which was a part they hadn't bothered with before. I was keen to do because I think there is a lot of cool nuance to playing the cymbals well that's not just loud clashing (although there is that when appropriate), but my hands were so sore I wasn't sure how long I could hold them effectively. I woke up before I got to pay anything though, because my hand was actually *really* sore from yard work yesterday and then I was sleeping on it badly.

So I know where some of this comes from - I'd been talking to another friend online about my percussion background not too long ago and that's clearly still in my mind. Another friend was showing off a bi-pride horse blanket she got for riding and I'm assuming that's where that came from. The rest is more speculative, but maybe just a general sense of being underestimated and a general sense of frustration with circumstances that I think probably everyone is feeling at not being able to accomplish what we want.

In other news.... yesterday was a really beautiful day and I spent a lot of it outside trying to work more on the yard. I picked up more trash out of the "compost pile". Which is the trash heap that the previous house owners weaseled out of having to clean up by bald face lying about what it was. Hot tip: neither plastic, glass, nor electronics are compostable. I also worked on cutting down scrub trees along the fence line - mostly hackberries. Some are growing into the freaking fence. Some could be just cut with pruning shears, but some need more serious treatment and I sawed off - thus my sore hands. If I'm being generous I got about a third of them done. The trees still need further thinning but if we do that it would need professionals again. We cut down all the manitoba maples last year and it made a big difference, but I'm realizing how much more work still needs to be done. Of course the same is true of the house itself.... we've done almost none of the stuff we talked about, lol. Which is exactly why I insisted on doing my room *before* I moved in... Anyway, other than yard work, I spent a lot of time playing with the new puppy, which he deeply appreciated :) He's 7 months old today!

Hi internets!

I slept a very long time yesterday, and had some very strange dreams.

( strange dreams! )

time to go walk Sierra....

Hi all! Rising from the dead to direct you to my Yuletide Reveals post if you are interested in things I have written!

It's been a big busy year for me - I officially started my Collections Manager position at work, we moved into a house, Jola died.... Ups and downs, I guess. 2020 is looking to be busy and hectic as well, as things never seem to really slow down at work. We are working towards a big revamp of our public spaces (at least) in the next few years and are jumping into planning mode for that, and I have a lot of stuff to do with that. Especially after our exhibit person leaves in April (at the latest). She's delightful and has done so much good for our office culture that I will be very sad to see her go, though her husband is not working in Ottawa, so even if her contract wasn't ending I can't imagine she'd stay here.

I am hoping to keep up better with writing in the new year - I have so many ideas and so little time, as always. I'm hoping to get signed up for Chocolate Box this week though, so I guess stay tuned for that if you're interested? And meanwhile I will see about finishing off a few lingering things from 2019.

I finished a wingspan shawl before the new year, though! other than end weaving and blocking. So... yeah.... now my 'to-be-blocked pile of shawls is about 4 deep :x But we have more space in the new house, so I am hoping I can get that worked out if I get some good mats.

I also joined... one and a half more games? Maybe? One of them (monster of the week) may not be continuing, and the other (Changeling) I can't actually attend the scheduled sessions for so am mostly doing stuff around the edges, but of course I adore both my new characters and my head of full of ideas for them! but also my old characters.... so many stories, so little time :3

Hey all!

I've been terrible at doing much of anything lately. I haven't written a word since jukebox was due (I did a reveals post over here, and I think the story I wrote for my main assignment is definitely some of my best work. I'm stuck in my big complicated shawl and also the shawl that was supposed to be easy and mindless that i started because I don't have time to concentrate on the other one. My socks are going okay but I'm getting a little bored, tbh >.>

Work is just utter barely managed chaos and I feel like I'm dropping a million balls all the time. I am currently managing 7 people, between volunteers, students, and staff folks. They're all great, luckily! They're not all around every day and most of them are pretty self-sufficient. On Monday I'm lucky enough that I'll be able to start two of my volunteers in actual paying jobs (only min wage, which sucks, but better than nothing) on short-term contracts. But that is starting up a whole other major project _@

I seems to be falling into older fandoms more than anything else recently. I'm watching the original Japanese Macross series (I grew up on Robotech. Lisa Hayes was a personal role model). And of course I have fallen into a deep deep Good Omens hole after the new mini series. Unfortunately all the copies of the book in the house appear to be packed, or I'd be re-reading that too. David Tennant and Michael Sheen just really killed it, of course, but I keep wondering if I am the only one who thinks that Anathema gives off some strong Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez vibes?

Anyway, I don't have a lot to say about life.... It's otherwise about the same as ever?

I keep meaning to get back into a more regular journalling habit, and I keep... not doing that. Patlry because I need mental time to decompress from work and what time is left I usually use for other things like games, or writing, or other social things.

But I'm still here! I read more than I comment on most stuff. I'm probably most active on tumblr, if by active you count just reblogging all the things with no commentary and half the time no tags. It's just so easy to be mindless :p I watched all of The Dragon Prince and I think probably that's been dominating my fandom content lately. Aaravos is just so damned pretty.

I have been doing other things. I still have three games - Ye Olde Adventure Worlde, Ashnabis, and Fuck Squad. And Larp. So four but I always categorize LARP differently. I'm like....close to being finished another shawl already. This one has gone super fast. I recognize that being 25 rows from the end of a half circle shawl is sill pretty far off but it has been going really fast! It is not my usual colours, but I'm hoping I will still wear it. I'm also most of the way through another pair of socks, which is good because I'm starting to loose some to wear. Oh well, I know what my next sock pattern will be already! I've been on a kick for fairly simple patterns lately, so they've been going fast. I've also been writing more regularly without as much of a post-yuletide slump. I'm hoping I can get finished another short fic for this fan-flashworks - I'm close to being finished the row on my card, and I've been enjoying contributing there again. ON the other hand, I'd started this year with plans to maybe start writing an actual novel and that has completely not happened even a little. Or, well, I made half a page of notes and a playlist. I haven't forgotten, I just haven't done anything with it yet.

The biggest news is that I am officially getting promoted to Collections Manager at work. This is basically reflecting what I have been doing since September anyway, but it comes with a significant raise over the contract position I was hired into to years ago, which was explicitly not a management job (even though I have been managing people and resources there from the get go). The authority and responsibility are still a mental shift, but the pay is like...even more of a livable adult range than what I had been making. And I'm not really planning to change my living arrangement so hopefully I can start ding other adult things like actually saving for the future, or getting a car. This is still a contract position, but considering where things have been going and how much responsibility I'me being given, I am confident that even if this contract doesn't get renewed as is, there will be something for me, and if there isn't, I should have enough experience to move on easily. So apparently I have a career and I feel pretty good about that except for the impostor syndrome and general traumas of academia, wooh! I do find it difficult to reconcile different aspects of my life, but I do plan to continue enjoying it as much as I can. Work can be stressful and frustrating but I feel like what I am doing is important and meaningful and it can be pretty rewarding. I'm hoping I can keep making things better.

What else... Jola is still doing about the same. Her lump has grown more, but she's been more active since the weather has started getting warmer and has really been pressing me to go for longer walks. I need to find a way to protect her foot though, because she drags it a bit and it is wearing down her nails so much they'd been bleeding. I have paw protectors I use for her in the winter, but the friction is not really what they're built for and they've been wearing out too fast. I'll have to see if I can get her a more durable bootie and hope she'll wear it. Because the top of her foot is what drags, I'm afraid anything else is gong to have the same issue. But I guess I'll get 4 in a set and only need 1 at a time, and I don't really know how long they need to last still >.>

I think that's it! I have 10 days of vacation this year and am trying to decide how to use it. I think I might go see my dad on my own for a bit, as I know he'd like that. Maybe we'll do Webercon again this year too. And then - I don't know. I have so many friends scattered all over the place that I'd like to visit, and I might try and set aside some time for a trip out west to see people there if I can. 10 days in a year is really not so much, unfortunately, but I'm lucky as I do also get some days around Christmas and New Years that aren't counted towards that.

My plans this weekend though are to see if I can finish this story, work on my Jukebox signup, and have game tomorrow.... not so ambitious.

I wrote a reveals post for Chocolate box. I was INCREDIBLY spoiled!

In other news, I am "finished" the shawl I was working on in the sense that it needs blocking and washing and end weaving and I have no idea when I'll have a chance to do any of that. I've started a new shawl that I got the yarn and pattern for like a yer and a half or more ago, and I'm loving it! I also cast on some socks for bus knitting.

I've come to the conclusion and also come to terms with the fact that as much as I love my Karbonz needles, they are really hard on my hand. The rigidity and texture of the carbon fiber is nice in some ways, but I wind up holding all the tension in my fingers and after a while they ache. Wood or bamboo too better at absorbing the energy, so I don't have the same trouble. I'm slowly replacing all my dpns and circs, but I'm sad about it. OTOH painless knitting is definitely worth it.

Jola is doing okay - thanks to everyone who left comments on my post a while back, I appreciated your kind words <3. She doesn't like the cold overly much, so that's not helping. Today was a little warmer and she practically ran out of the house and wanted a much longer walk than she has been having lately. I think he mass had another small growth spurt a while ago, and she is on NSAIDs now instead of what she was on before, but otherwise shes been stable. I go back and forth on how long I think she's got.

Work is still busy but while there isn't really less to do, and my new contract is actually going to have a lot more responsibility on paper, but I am not feeling constantly overwhelmed. I'm getting into the swing of things and the new normal. Having things be less up in the air has been really helpful. I'm feeling much less pulled in different directions and I'm happy to see things moving forward.

I mean, pretty good but not perfect. I thought the AUs should all be further down, but the tops 6 are are pretty spot on.

Do your own here!

1 Hurt/Comfort
2 Polyamory
2 Found Families
2 Loyalty Kink
5 Enemies to Friends to Lovers
6 Seemingly Unrequited Pining
( ... )