elanya

I dunno, I'm just reaching for titles at this point ;p

Work was good! Everyone wants to do flotation this week though @_@ busy busy! N is back for a few days, but he is going to Quebec City at the end of the week, so who knows when I will her back on any of the stuff I did while he was away. Or the people he asked me to contact, etc. Whatever. I finished a draft of the 'this is how the database is meant to be used/work' thing that I put together, because I think that is more useful than just a step by step guide for doing specifi things. It's so variable. We do need to work on some 'translation' guides for data entry, but I might ask my counterpart at the other facility to assist with that.

I also had some good conversations with J about his post-doc project, which is putting together a project portal for various kinds of heritage research, to put researchers in touch with communities - the communities suggest the projects and the researchers - students and faculty - can pick from various ideas and know that a: they will have support for the research and b: that since it is community driven it is muuuuch more likely to be competitive for grant-based funding. We've been tossing around with ideas for SA (some of which are Really Cool), and also brainstorming other sorts of things, and he keeps saying things like "we should write a paper." hah :V Who has time for original research ;p

In non-work news, it is Longpig and Wererogue's anniversary today (also my mom's birthday), and they went out to dinner, and I got to take care of the kids. Which included making a quick dinner when I got home - cheese and tomato omelets with cucumber slices and snap peas. wooh! They both ate everything, pretty much, so I'll call it a win. And they were pretty good at bedtime. Other than that, I finished weaving in the ends o the baby sweater, which is now "blocking" before final assembly. It's cute but heavy! ahh well. I am going to have back out of the actual shower though - a Toronto day trip is pricey, and the place where the shower is being held is not convenient from public transit.

I should go to bed. I've been really bad about getting in to be before midnight lately. I was on track for it tonight but something something the internet happened.

Night all!

morbane asked me to talk about an academic interest I haven't talked about before.

I thought about talking about conservations stuff, but probably no one really wants to hear about how I spent a few hours of my day on Friday reading about glue >.>

Instead I think I will talk about my interest in identity, and conceptions of that that means. I don't think it is something I have talked about here before, and certainly not something I have talked about in a while.

I am really interested in how people understand themselves, and to what extent they have a concept of self. Like, I feel like the cultures to which I belong, and this is especially true of online culture, people are sort of obsessed with identity, and knowing and classifying ourselves. We can have different identities that are contextual, and are very self-aware in that regard. I don't think that this is a construction of self or of personhood that is universal, or even one that necessarily has a lot of historical depth. I haven't actually studied this in depth, mind, but I would really like to.

I think that relationships are important to construction of identity, and some of those relationships are personally forged and some of them are socially constructed, and there is a lot of nuance. You can be born into something, which establishes a relationship of some sorts, but the shape of that, and its meaning, doesn't necessarily follow a prescribed path, even if it commonly does. Those relationships might not be something people are always conscious of, and certainly not self-aware of and self-critical of the way people can be today.

My studies of piracy and maritime communities are set up in this framework - can we see how element were important to the construction of a community? Do the things that people have and use mark inclusion in a particular community? The things they eat? Is that demarcation conscious? What can we see about their relationships to the land, and how are those relationships important to their constructions of themselves and individuals, or as a group? When we look for these signs of identity in historic (pr pre-historic) populations, are we reading something that actually existed or are we creating categories based on out own perceptions, and how do we tell the difference? How those differenced matter, and in what context, is really interesting to me, as it can tie in to conceptions and constructions of group history, which tie back to modern identities, which can be very political.

Benedict Anderson talks about Imagined Communities in regard to nationhood (people can belong to a community that can never interact directly, but they imagine what that relationship means along common lines that can still link them together... very short short version), but to some degree I think all communities are imagined. Living in the same place as other people doesn't necessarily make you 'one of them' if you don't meet all the criteria that other people understand (or imagine) that mark inclusion. And the lines are nebulous. There is both an internal and external construction to identity as well, the personal and the external, and they can be very contextual and fluid.

I have a lot of questions about this sort of stuff, and some thoughts about answers, but it is something I would really like to have a chance to think about and research in more depth. There is a lot of material out there that could be pulled togther into more coherent . Other people have studied these things as well - One of the things I would like to try and do this year is get myself to read more academic stuff as opposed to just more fiction, since I seem to be doing okay at making myself read at all lately!

Megan the Cruel, a.k.a. tethys123, asked me to talk about job searching and my feeling on it.

I haven't really been actively pursuing my jobsearch since I landed the position I have now. This is a little foolish of me, since this position ends in June. Probably. I mean maybe they will get more money and want to keep me? But there is absolutely no certainty in that regard, and I am really not counting on it.

While I haven't been *searching*, I have heard of a few jobs that I could be applying for, and I have been doing a very minimal amount of work towards preparing to do so. I should be doing more.

There are reasons for this, as follows (this is the feels part):

I really like my living situation, on the whole. While I wish I had better access to my things, and I especially wish we could manage better pet integration because I miss having Maze around all the time, I love living with my family, I love being so close to naryrising (Oh and forthright, him too ;), and I like the town I'm living in. My sister and BiL may complain it is Montreal, but it is also no College Station, and in a good way ;p I am reluctant to hurry away fro that towards a career I feel ambivalent about. Especially when I can feel ambivalent about my career right here ;p

The other thing is that one of the jobs I mentioned is academic. I have a lot of ~feelings~ about my degree, the value of my education, my ability to perform in that kind of environment, and if I am being completely honest with myself, my desire to do so. I think I could do it an do well at it, but I feel very ambivalent about some aspects of it. Some of if is probably just impostor syndrome. But I don't think that's it entirely. I think there were actually serious flaws with my education :p There are aspects that are very appealing. It would be a good cool job in a location that is in some regards extremely appealing. Less in others :p Part of me is really excited and part of me wants to just hide forever. I will definitely apply, but even then I think it will be fairly competitive, so we'll see.

And the other job is at the sister institution to my current job, with a lot more responsibility (but maybe also a lot more power, I dunno), but farther away from everyone, so I dunno. I probably have a leg up there, at this point...

Ambivalent. That is my feels. I don't know how to get over my issues surrounding my degree, but if I could figure that out I think it would help a lot :p

I remember to bring my nice scissors to work to cut twill tape to sew labels into object cases. I did not remember to bring needles.

Bring needles to work tomorrow!

I did remember to bring my copy of Emilie and the Sky World though, and to bring my eldersign pattern so I can finish that washcloth for my facebook 'make stuff for people' meme, so that's good.

I did not send my RSVP for my friends' wedding reception yet, though I did draw a Pusheen on the back of it. I also did not send my book review contract yet, though I did sign it. I managed to misplace the envelope that came with it, d'oh! I am going to email the review editor *right now* and ask where I should send it (done!). I also opened a file for said book review, and put in all the header information. So that's waiting for me tonight, I suppose!

In hunting around for the review editor's address, I got an update on the pirate book I submitted an article for (based on my Sheffield research, actually, heh). It is out to reviewers now, and hopefully can move along nicely from there. :D

Now if I would only hear back from Shroud >.> I could poke them maybe? Last I heard they were hoping to have news for me in 'a week or so', but that was back in May >.>

In other writing news, the All-Female Author Mythos book that I backed on IndieGoGo has announced its open submission period will be from November-December. They limit is 4000 words. I *really* *really* wanted to send them Cursed Wreck, but it is just over 7000 in its current form. I need to cut it down if I want to do that, but I'm not sure I have the perspective to do so. I'll try looking at it again, but I might need to see if I can find someone else to help me with serious edits. Or I could write something entirely new, I suppose... I'll think about that. But damnit I want to sell Cursed Wreck ;_; It's a good story at heart. Possibly needs some chopping anyway :p

I wandered away from where I started in this post, but that's okay, because I was clever and thought to call upstairs to my old boss/the collections manager for the other gallery and *she* has needles, so I should be set :D

I want to work on my article today

My brain keeps sliding off on to other things... "Maybe you should start your Invisible Ficathon story, or the Raksura reverse bang, or work on the LARP... how about reading some from Fan Culture? You could do laundry today istead of waiting and doing i tomorrow. Maybe you should make some more tea, or check facebook and twitter. Or I know, about about a journal post?"

-_-

I have the file open, I'm thinking about it, looking at old notes... Am I read to make the words go? Do I need a better idea for structure first? Is everything ever just procrastination?

Bah. I want to while about how this is so hard, but it has always been this way. The only thing now is that I don't have any real deadlines. I don't have a set goal. Everything is arbitrary.

Bah.

I have posts I keep meaning to make and have not been making.

But I ordered the copies of my diss for the archives and I'll send them off once they arrive. I have some emails I need to send as well, and will try and do that tonight. And hopefully work more on my article as well.

And, oh godohdgod, get more hammered out for my LARP! I really need to get the characters fleshed out better and start working on some more props and interactive stuff >.> I have less than a month and I am not fast at these things! Maybe I need a notebook so I can work things out a little more visually before I write them up :p

The other thing I meant to say over here is - is anyone else out there on The Twitters? I'm elanya72 if you are interested in following me, but don't feel obliged! If you've got a feed you think I might be interested in, whether it is yours or not, please tell me!

I am amused, because at first I found it really overwhelming, but no I am seeing what mousme said, and finding it really easy to follow and keep a handle on. So far it isn't as overwhelming as tumblr, at lest :p Possibly because I am following more people I am actually interested in for more than just one aspect? I would also take recommendations on better ways to use/filter it, granted that I'm only likely to access it from the web, because I can do so at work, and don't have a smartphone. Or a cell/mobile at all.

So it seems like, despite my intentions and my greater flexibility of time lately, I haven't been able to get myself organized to post regularly during the week. This is a shame, as I have been thinking about a lot of things lately!

( Dissertation things, Ficthropology things, Ramblings about gender issues )

I woke up early with all these *plans* and then I sat down at the computer and now it is going on three hours later. Bah!

I had some ideas for pirate-meta that I want to write up. In addition to talking about Black Sails, I may be going to do some conversational narration stuff for an Assassins Creed IV Let's Play with my bro-in-law. I have some things I'd like to talk about for the show though specifically - anyone have any preferences as to whether I talk first about Ships, or Wrecking?

I also had some ideas for what to do with my dissertation, article wise, which is that i want to write something that is looking more just at "here is what i can tell you about Harbour Island from the archaeology I did" and leave the big question theory for something else. I did some outlining while it was still in my brain, but it is hard for me not to hop into the theory >.>

I also had an anxiety dream last night that I was totally unprepared to run the LARP I want to do for Webercon. I don't think that it was really *about* the larp, per sey, though I do need to start working on it more seriously, but more about how I am a social fraud, and of course my RL friends mostly only tolerate me, some of them actively dislike me, etc. although the people who didn't like me in the dream were not relatable to actual real people, though there were actual real people that I know appearing in the dream, so that's something :p Either I don't know who doesn't really like me or they don't exist, I'm not sure. Even in the dream I was more concerned about the people I did know being disappointed, I think? Anyway, I am really a fairly confident person, but I'm also terrible at socializing with people. I don't participate in conversations the same way, or something? I don't know. I played pool with some t=friends on Thursday and despite it being people I know I was mostly quiet while other folks were chatty, and it left me feeling a little marginal and I think this has affected my subconscious. Which I almost wrote as 'self conscious'. Oh, brain, you ain't subtle :p I do think that I am *differently* socially awkward than most of my friends, and that does make it hard for us to connect sometimes.

Anyway, I *should* start working on something. I have other things I'd like to do today, or at least this weekend, as well, like laundry, baking, maybe even *shock* tidying my room.... I can find the floor, sure, but everything else is covered in things (mostly clothes and paper) that need to be put away :p

Oh and in other fun news, we definitely have a pipe issue of some kind in the bathtub. we thought it was water getting on the floor (for a variable configuration of 'we'), but it happened (or, at least, I noticed) again today and that was definitely not the case. I emailed lukoni but I'm really not sure what the best solution is going to be :/ No showers, anyway, I suspect, until we have a better idea what's going on. Yay?

In other mild annoyances, I ordered yarn for my sweater the other day, but the company emailed to let me know that they didn't have enough skeins in the same dyelot (I had asked for them all to be the same). They were really super nice about it and offered to backorder, but that was going to take eight weeks+! (Not their fault, that's just malabrigo for you >.>). I cancelled the yarn, but am still getting needles from them, and am now yarnhunting elsewhere. Even though they didn't have what I wanted I was really pleased with their customer service and will definitely be looking at getting other things through them again.

To end on a high note, though, I did at least get my prompts all finished for the Invisible Ficathon, and I am very happy with all of them! Now I just need to finalize my offers... Aftwer I go out and get some kitty litter!

Sorta chilling, anyway, I actually have a lot of of stuff to do today!

First things first - yesterday I was officially added to the Tag Wrangling Staff for the Organization for Transformative Works. This is a volunteer commitment I have taken on and I am just in the process of learning what my duties are gong to be. It is a fairly large staff, though with a large number of new members, and I am hoping this will lead to an even distribution of work. Still, they say that it is about a five hour a week on average (meaning some weeks more, some weeks less) commitment. So that if going to take up a lot of time I have for other things, mostly writing, I suspect. I am actually hoping that having outside-of-work responsibilities again will help me keep on top of other responsibilities and generally encourage me to be a Responsible Adult.

Speaking of Being a Responsible Adult, I got the proof back of my dissertation and, as I suspected, I really need it in colour. So I am going to print three copies of the colour version once I get paid for February, and send them to - the AMMC, The National Archives of the Bahamas, and The Harbour Island Library. I will contact all the people who helped me and offer them digital colour downloads, possibly via the university library's link.

I still need to start working on seriously producing stuff from my dissertation as well, and I need a plan to do so. I can't decide if "spend a little bit of time every day" versus "take one or two days a week to dedicate a larger block of time" is going to be a better approach, but I may not be able to gauge that until I have a better handle on my Tag Staff responsibilities. I think the first staff meeting is next weekend, though, so hopefully that won't be too long. We'll see!

I have a bunch of stuff I need to do today, which I'll list here for my convenience:
make chili
laundry
make dinner (pizza and garlic fingers :3)
game

I have a bunch of things that I should do today:
look through staff orientation information and make sure I'm getting everything set up the way I need to
(I'm actually trying not to get distracted by that atm)

Things I would like to do today:
work on my Diablotin Space AU
work on my knitting
make a post about influential books

Things I would like to do In General That I May Do Today:
make a post/list breaking down things I have that are actual responsibilities versus goals I have set myself
work on my LARP for Webercon (this needs doing but it not essential at this point)

I should be able to do all of these things! I do have another post to make first though...