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Doubt Comes In
Doubt comes in
And strips the paint
Doubt comes in
And turns the wine
Doubt comes in and leaves a trace
Of vinegar and turpentine
--Doubt Comes in, Anaïs Mitchell
When I first started playing Underworld, I had a really cool character. And I got super invested, and then super frustrated, and I wound up retiring her (handing her over to plot to use, and taking her out of play). I did it because it was too frustrating not to be ale to play her how I wanted, and I didn't really expect to return to a situation where I would be able to play her regularly. I started playing her in January 2009, and retired her in June 2011. I only actually played 3 events with her, but I did a lot - a *lot* - of stuff online, and she was pretty involved in a lot of things behind the scenes. People still remember her, and give me affectionate crap for ever retiring her. I Have Regrets.
When I got back to a point where I could start playing Underworld again, I made a new character. The idea was to create a character where that wouldn't happen again, because I still don't really have a lot of time to devote to the game. Last year I made it to one of the weekend game. I've been able to do more of the day mods this winter/spring because they are so much less of a time commitment, and because for the most part they haven't fallen on weeks where I have other things happening. I went to the Christmas one, and this one, and I should be able to go in March.
So my character doesn't actually live in town. She doesn't really know what's happening most of the time, and neither do I. I can go and have fun and talk to people in character, and make my own entertainment, and that's great! But there is part of me that really wants to jump in and get more involved! But that way lies madness, and the guild I'm in now does so as much online stuff anyway. And I can't make it to more events. But it gets frustrating! And I like my current character, but she's a lot more basic. Like, I know where she is coming from and what she is doing with her life and all, but I'm not sure if any of that comes across well, or if it is interesting to anyone else. I'm not sure the concept is coming across. It's just very different, going from playing very intensely with people I know, to playing casually with strangers. I don't imaging anyone will find Zia memorable if she disappears. Whereas my last character - well. She literally set fashion precedents that are still used by NPCs. When I retired her I got a really huge compliment from the one of the game owners on how I'd played her. It is just feeling a little flat, now that I've come down a bit from the high - I feel like I'm not living up to what I'm capable of, I guess. Whine whine.
And strips the paint
Doubt comes in
And turns the wine
Doubt comes in and leaves a trace
Of vinegar and turpentine
--Doubt Comes in, Anaïs Mitchell
When I first started playing Underworld, I had a really cool character. And I got super invested, and then super frustrated, and I wound up retiring her (handing her over to plot to use, and taking her out of play). I did it because it was too frustrating not to be ale to play her how I wanted, and I didn't really expect to return to a situation where I would be able to play her regularly. I started playing her in January 2009, and retired her in June 2011. I only actually played 3 events with her, but I did a lot - a *lot* - of stuff online, and she was pretty involved in a lot of things behind the scenes. People still remember her, and give me affectionate crap for ever retiring her. I Have Regrets.
When I got back to a point where I could start playing Underworld again, I made a new character. The idea was to create a character where that wouldn't happen again, because I still don't really have a lot of time to devote to the game. Last year I made it to one of the weekend game. I've been able to do more of the day mods this winter/spring because they are so much less of a time commitment, and because for the most part they haven't fallen on weeks where I have other things happening. I went to the Christmas one, and this one, and I should be able to go in March.
So my character doesn't actually live in town. She doesn't really know what's happening most of the time, and neither do I. I can go and have fun and talk to people in character, and make my own entertainment, and that's great! But there is part of me that really wants to jump in and get more involved! But that way lies madness, and the guild I'm in now does so as much online stuff anyway. And I can't make it to more events. But it gets frustrating! And I like my current character, but she's a lot more basic. Like, I know where she is coming from and what she is doing with her life and all, but I'm not sure if any of that comes across well, or if it is interesting to anyone else. I'm not sure the concept is coming across. It's just very different, going from playing very intensely with people I know, to playing casually with strangers. I don't imaging anyone will find Zia memorable if she disappears. Whereas my last character - well. She literally set fashion precedents that are still used by NPCs. When I retired her I got a really huge compliment from the one of the game owners on how I'd played her. It is just feeling a little flat, now that I've come down a bit from the high - I feel like I'm not living up to what I'm capable of, I guess. Whine whine.
no subject
I guess at least you don't have the problem of wondering if this character/experience will live up to the previous one's impact... because you are deliberately designing a very different experience. But I hear you how it's frustrating.
Among my friends, LARPing seems to be a hobby with dramatic surges and ebbs of energy/commitment, and a lot of burnout. Especially, though, for campaigns where people have different quantities of play, options to go to day games, significant differences in ongoing online commitment, etc. It seems like it must be very frustrating to know there's content going on that you don't have time to take part in.
Is there anything that makes your character particularly accessible for newbies to the game to build up a connection with?
(since I'm not actually a LARPer, only very LARP-adjacent, I hope I'm not talking nonsense.)
no subject
And you're absolutely right - I'm deliberately designing a different experience, I'm just having difficulty managing expectations. She's very approachable, but not being *around* makes it hard to build up long term connections, I think. Plus there are more dramatically interesting people.