bessemerprocess: Elder duckie Ursala Vernon (acid-ink) (Default)

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posted by [personal profile] bessemerprocess at 10:59pm on 23/03/2013
I think the but in the second sentence sounds sort of weird, the repetition of awesome in sentence one and sentence three seems a bit off and while I've never heard it before I love the word maritimity. Otherwise, I'm really interested in what you are about it say, and I totally agree with you: the ocean is awesome.
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elanya: Sumerian cuneiform 'Dingir' meaning divine being/sky/heaven (Default)

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posted by [personal profile] elanya at 11:01pm on 23/03/2013
Ack,the but is an editing artifact from a previous sentence structure. the second awesome was supposed to be a direct reference to the first, but apparently it is not working so I will think of something else. And otherwise, yay, thanks :D
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