So, the past few days have been a write-off so far in terms of getting schoolwork done, for various reasons. Sunday I wasn't expecting to get anything done. Saturday wasn't *so* bad, all things considered. Friday was decent. I'm re-calibrating my brain as regards to what I'm doing with some things and its hard to keep it all straight in my head long enough to get it on the page. Of course if helps to actually have a chance to do so.

I have been busy doing a ton of other crap instead!

Yesterday, I got home at 11 PM, and made butter - as you do. I got some raw milk on Friday through a friend from a local-ish farm, let it sit until Sunday morning them poured of the cream, added some yogurt to let it culture and left it sitting on the cupboard all day @_@ Lacking both patience and a large enough jar, I used my hand mixer to make it. Basically it is like making whipped cream, only you keep going :3 And Going. And Going @_@ Either it took a lot longer than I was expecting or I was just terrible at realizing when it was done. but! I made butter! I experimented with my friend's super cute butter mold but .... I didn't have nearly enough to fill it, and also I had no idea what I was doing so mostly I made a mess :V

I also tried to make yogurt. I have done it in the oven at my old place, but it had a dial as opposed to a digital... thing what sets the temperature. So the old one I could set so that it was just baaaarely on and it would be the right temp to culture yogurt. I had actually tried to start it with a heating pad and my crock pot crock, but the pot was too big I think. I should add that this was my solution with with to do with the rest of my milk. You can make yogurt from skim milk.... It'll be runny unless you strain it, but I usually do that anyway. And then you can make ricotta from the whey :)

Anyway, but the time I was done, it was after midnight, and I have to get up by 6:30 to get to work on time and take care of the dog, so... yeah @_@ i woke up in the morning to find no yogurt, just slightly cooked milk. No way in hell was I wasting it though, after what I paid for it, so I shoved it in the fridge to consider my options.

I got off work at 1 today, picked up a prescription, and got groceries in preparation for intense cooking! I got home around 2, and wasn't done in the kitchen until around 6:30 @_@ On the other hand, I succeeded in making the following things!

-Banana bread! With red bananas I had in the freezer, and a splash of rum for extra deliciousness
-Chicken corn chowder. With leeks, and carrots and mushrooms and probably other things I'm forgetting. And, oh yes, fucking Milk. Victory! it is sort of a waste to cook raw milk.... Okay it is a huge waste, but this was a better option after I fucked up the yogurt than chucking it. I am going to have to work out my yogurt making system with cheaper milk before I try this again.
-Shepherds pie! The way we used to make it at the lunch counter where I worked like... ten years ago @_@ I still have other recipes memorized from then too.
-Bread! Well breadmaker bread. It just finished and I need to see if it rose properly, considering it was on top of the dishwasher, which was running :p Oatmeal brown bread, anyway.

I also cleaned the kitchen twice - once before I started (to clean up from the butter making stuff), and once after. Actually possibly there was an intermediary stage in there also.

Speaking of the dishwasher though, I use the little cascade gel pack thingies, but I have been having issues with the, where the gelatin or whatever wrapper around them doesn't actually dissolve and release the soap :p Did I just get a shitty batch? Should I get a different brand? Just use regular dishwasher soap? Bah....

I am in the middle of transferring files, then I need to go pick up my dog. Despite my intentions, I don't think I am going to get any kind of writing done today. Also maze has been puking a bunch today... just hairballs I think/hope, but of course he decided to do this right when I *finally* had a chance to sit down and eat some of the mass quantities of food I prepared. And the spray I used on the carpet tried to kill my already weakened lungs ;_;

Annnnnnd... that is probably way more than any of you really wanted to know about my day :V

Good morning, gentlecats.

I here present to you my recipe for Human Stew. This is, I must admit, a work in process, yet i feel I have come quite close to perfecting a recipe for broth. And of course, as all chefs know, have the pleasure is in the creation.

Ingredients:
1 human - the selection of a proper human is a matter of personal taste for each feline, but there are guides available elsewhere for those who lack the certainty and assertiveness to forward a proper claim.
1 large tub of very hot water
Seasonings to taste. In this case I selected Avon's Vanilla Cream foaming marinade, which adds a mild flavour to the broth. The trick is not to select anything that will overpower the natural flavour of your human.

Allow the human to fill the tub with near scalding watter, as hot as it can tolerate. Add the marinade of your choice at the time so that it has the opportunity to properly dissolve. The human will control this process, and it is important to supervise as they have a tendency to add too much. This behaviour can be corrected easily by a quick swat with your paw. Use claws if necessary - it is important that they understand who dominates the relationship. if they do manage to add too much flavour, this can be compensated for in a later stage. The quality of the water itself will also determine how much marinade it is necessary to add. Be sure to taste the water from the tap, and in the tub, to determine the optimum amount to add. If necessary you can also taste the human to gauge how the flavours will mix.

Allow the human to slowly enter the water. I encourage you to consider adding the human before the tub is full, as they can tolerate a higher temperature of water if it is added gradually. Heat is important for a proper stew.

Once the human is added to the tub, it should attempt t submerse itself of its own accord. Supervision is key here as well, as is regular tastng of the water (the paw-dipping method if excellent for this) and the human. A well trained human should allow you to taste it at regular intervals. Licking of the hands and exposed extremities is generally sufficient, but an occasional bite to check flavour penetration may be in order.

It is acceptable, and indeed desirable to allow the human to refresh the water when it begins to cool. You may allow them to add further marinate at ths stage, butif the broth has been over flavoured, do not permit it. again, use of claws may be in order. You can encourage the human to remain in he tub longer by providing refreshments, such as tea, and entertainment such as music and books. Candles can also provide an encouraging stewing atmosphere, but be careful to allow them to place them in locations that could become dangerous to yourself. Scented candles may interfere with the enjoyment of a properly flavoured broth, but careful pairing of scent and flavour can produce an enhanced experience. The confident chef can experiment to find combinations optimized to their own palate. In this instance, I paired the vanilla marinade with a pleasant scented cranberry blood-orange tea, which I was careful to sample myself. I also provided a book, in this case a historical text relevant to the human's interest, so that it could feel relaxed and productive, and not poison the experience with guilt unrelated to improper feline servitude. This encouraged the human to marinate longer than might have otherwise been the case.

The best opportunity to enjoy your broth and marinated human will be when they are still in the tub. Be sure to stay and supervise and make the most of your sampling efforts. Some humans can be encouraged to add further flavour to the broth by scraping the other layer of flesh. Only to allow this after you have licked your fill, but be sure to sample the broth at this point. I don't believe you could be disappointed!

Ideally, after a proper marinate, the human will be fit for consumption, and you may make the attempt. Starting with the feet is traditional. Unfortunately, most humans will at this point use their superior size and strength to defy the desire of their feline masters. Their nudity will make them more susceptible to the application of claws, but take care! I have heard of unfortunate cases where a malicious human has managed to turn the table on their feline master and upended the poor feline into the stew.

If your human escapes devouring, or if you plan to retain them for the creation of further stews and the performance of other servile tasks, it is important to re-stake your claim, as the marinate may have removed previous scent marks. You may begin my licking off excess broth to aid in the drying process. After they are dry, remark the legs by winding and rubbing. The human may be allowed to assist by granting them petting and head scritch priveldges prior to the application of lotions to the skin. The feline scent on the hands will then be spread across the body, reinforcing proper scent-claims.

I hope you will have found the stewing guide of use - constructive commentary and due praise is accepted in the comment section below. Trolls and other detractors can expect to be flayed alive.

Yours,

Maze, Lord Grey.

I just came around the corner and found Maze, tail twitching, staring down my Animated Starscream figure. He lay supine, his missiles unfired, pointed uselessly up at the ceiling.

Maze: 1
Starscream: 0

Not what you think. I just wanted to make a quick kitty toilet training update to say that today, I switched to having a little water in his bowl. I don't think he has quite figured out how this goes yet, but we'll see. I hope he does, 'cause I'm out of litter :V

Time for pancakes!

I have completed my Yuletide story. I even uploaded it, though I am waiting for more beta feedback - I just wanted to get in before the rush. I can make edits later as necessary :)

I was.... #394?

4725 words, baby! In a month! Less! Who'd have thunk I coud do that? Not me :x

Now.... do I want to write another one? :x

In other news, cat has claimed my lap, thus icon.

( Pics below cut :) )

Cat in a box This is my kitty, Maze. I am going to teach him to pee in a toilet so I never have to change kitty liter - hooray!

Today, I took Maze to the vet to get his nuts chopped off, among other things. In exchange for denying him this manly dignity, I am going to attempt to toilet train him. Also, if I succeed, I'll save money on litter, and I'll never have to clean the box again ever, hooray! I've moved the box in to my bathroom to begin. This is going to be a huge PITA, but I hope it is worth it!

Here are the instructions I'm using. I'm trying not to get too encouraged by the fact that the kitty they show looks quite like my boy.

I need a kitty icon, hmmm.... (ETA: There, for now...)