elanya

What a thing to have happen on Valentine's Day: Court Overturns Texas Ban on Sex Toys

Although this means that The Wet Spots song "Texas Annie" is no longer.... Ahh hell, it is still an awesome song.

Well, Texas Annie had a big fat fanny and she drove a black sedan
She had benoit balls in her overalls and a trunk full of contraband
When the fog was thick she'd pack her dicks and sneak across he county line
'Cause in Texas, any tool for masturbation is a crime!

Hard working and promiscuous, she was kinda like the rest
She was a liquor-drinkin', dildo-runnin' rascal
With an electronic phallus for each housewife up in Dallas
And a probe for every asshole in El Paso

'Cause you can't buy a dildo in Texas
We don't touch ourselves down there 'round here ya here?
And it says so n the Bible that a vibe'll leave you liable
For a prison term of twenty-seven years

Well she'd rent a room in a cheap saloon and start selling all her wares
She'd be drinkin' whiskey and gettin' frisky conducting her affairs
By the end of the night, she'd be good and tight, with a girl on either side
And then she'd grab her saddle and a ping-pong paddle and she'd take them for a ride

'Till the good ole boys got their good ole balls all tied up in a sling
And the governor saild "I'll have her head, that bitch is gonna swing!"
The boys felt disgraced and they felt replace and they chased her hard and long
There was no debate in the Lone Star State about who should wear the dong

'Cause you can't buy a dildo in Texas
We don't touch ourselves down there 'round here ya here?
And it says so n the Bible that a vibe'll leave you liable
To be judged by a jury of your queers
("I mean peers!" "Right, definitely peers!")

Annie in the bedroom pickin' out toys!
Annie gettin' caught by the governor's boys!
Annie gonna get the electric chair
Thousand volts in the derriere!

So they strapped her in and the governor grinned "I guess you've had your fun,
Shoulda made your money as a playboy bunny or by sellin' people guns!
So goobye Texas Annie, I hope you burn in Hell!"
She said "I'll see you there, you sunufabitch, and I'll see your wife as well!"

So he flipped a switch and she began to twitch and vibrate all around
Smoke filled the room, there was a thunderous boom, and a high pitched buzzin' sound!
Where the air had cleared, she had disappeared, and a hundred eyes grew wide
The men were stiff with horror but their wifes looked satisfied!

'Cause you can't buy a dildo in Texas
So here's your chance to stick it to the man!
Take every opportunity to whack off with impunity
Go fuck yourself as often as you can!