elanya

I'd post what books I've read from the banned books list but... I don't remember a lot of things that I read when I was a kid. There are some things on there that I think I read, or maybe started to read and got bored of, or else I'm familiar with the story but I don't know if I read it or someone told me about it, or I saw a movie of the book, etc.

I just have a really poor memory, I think. I don't pay attention to detail. I have to think hard to remember just about anything from my you ger days, or even more recent times, because it mostly just.... isn't important.

This leads me into strange situations, like, for exmple, except for the past two or three years, it has always been Joel who has needed to remind *me* of our aniversary (which, incidentally, is today). I can't even tell you without counting how many years we have been dating. Half the time I don't remember how old I am, or what year graduated from highschool or university. I only remember how old Hazel is when I can remember my own age, and don't even *ask* about my parents. Or Joel. (I have vague recollections that my dad might have been born in 1950 which, in theory, should make that one easy to remember, ha ha).

I can barely trust myself to remember to do 'daily routine' things, like, say brush my hair everyday. I had to go off The Pill because I kept forgetting to take it, and was having to take more than one a day a little too often, and I couldn't trust that it was doing its job and the unbalanced hormones from doing that too much were causing me to be moody and depressed a lot more than I naturally get. It sometimes takes me a while to remember to put my rings back on after I take a shower.

I also have no concept of time, ad maybe this is related. Short scale time, I can handle, but not anything long term, generlaly. And yet, I loathe watches. And loud clocks.

Maybe it is because things like that just aren't important to me. "Time is not important to those who do not wait". I think I wrote a cheesy poem along that theme once upon an adolescence.

Arr. I'd wanted to do an update last night, saying that I'd cooked dinner, and gingerbread, and that it was good. The only issue with this is that once again there is a huuuuuge stack of dishes to be done. I don't generally mind doing them, it is just that lately the fact that there are just soooooooo many to do, always, that I really can't get motivated to do them. And I have other things to do, like finish my dissertation. I know I'm fooling myself into thinking that I don't have much left to do, and that is dangerous. Binding takes 48 hours and I'm not convinced that extensions aree going to be easy to come by. Well, okay, I don't think I'll need one, either, but I'd like to be done in plenty of time. I'm dreading proofreading the thing for the last time, and finializing the format, and figures, and etc. Oh how I'm not looking forward to all of that. I'm going to ned to buy better paper, too, before I print the final version. And fix my bibliography. I should e-mail Mauren and find out for sure if what they want *everything* I've looked at. Ugh. I've mostly been keeping track of the former.

Anyway, gingerbread is nice. I think I'll have some for breakfast, and then I'll go and get dressed and whatnot.

Oh, right, one other bit of active procrastination I did yesterday: I fixed up my CV and got in touch with people to use as references. There is only one other job that I wanted to put on it, but I have no idea where my old employer has wound up, le sigh... stupid AMNB board politics.

Now I get snack. Arr.