elanya

Or "Sleep is supposed to be a Refuge" or "Bad way to start the day"

(As noted at the end, I wrote this out this morning when I got up... I kept the same mood and music, stuff though, from before.)

We'll start this out with a fun little exercise that I yoinked from Shan's page. Basically, do a websearch with your name and 'is' in quotes ("Joe is"). I used Lannie and Elanya, because I thought there would be too much 'Heather' stuff. Some of this is amusing, some is boring, meh. Some of it came from Shan's page, and I marked that, too...

Lannie is presenting preparing to began broadcasting Sporting God's Country VIA Internet and Television.

Lannie is a native of Cumberland County.

Lannie is one such relationship.

With the use of Penelope, a longhorn cow, Lannie is able to develop skills and adjust attitudes in all horses.

Lannie is a single mother of a 12 year old girl, Angela, and guardian to a "very ugly dog named Rufus.

Lannie is more than just a versatile singer.

Lannie is backed up by all-star group including pianist, Eric Gunnison of Carmen McRae fame.

Lannie is very smart but quiet

Lannie is skeptical of his motives.

Lannie is seen here freehand drawing a design using ink & brush.

Elanya is surely plotting revenge. (Shan)

Elanya is one of my students. (Shan)

Elanya is now known as Elanya|headache

Elanya is now known as Elanya|box-building

Elanya is glad she is not blonde

Now on to the bad part. This starts off okay, although I guess there was something of a feeling of anxiety throughout the dream. I'm going to cut at the end, though, because there might be some squeamish people out there. And it certainly disturbed me enough, anyway.... Here goes.

I vaguely recall this part being set in ladyiolanthe and 3headedmonkey's basement. It was after a sleepover, and longpig and I were looking up Transformers slash. Or something. We kept finding mediocre stuff which was all written by the same guy, and we were printing it out to read too, for some reason. I remember finding one story that had a blue haired character (a Zentradi? Transformers and Robotech seemed to equate in this part of the dream...) named Rhea, only I kept pronouncing it as 'Rae' or 'Rea' or whatever her Changeling Character's last name is (Caelan). Then I got this wacky idea to do a search for Khyron/Caelan. I found something, again by this German guy.

I can't remember how things went next, exactly, but I was talking to someone about the sleepover, or maybe I have been staying there for a weekend... I was actually staying with my friend Madeline, but Matthew Hickey had been there, and someone was asking me if I had been having fun or if it had been weird, or what. I told them that other people had gone to see some lame movie the day before (it was a sequel... it wasn't a real movie, but something my brain made up, and ended in '2'), but I hadn't gone, but tonight(today?) we had watched nothing but good movies, including Pitch Black, John Carpenter's vampires, and some weird Drew Barrymore horror-comedy thing, which was also a creation of my brain (I actually watched 2 /3 of those movies just the other day...). I don't remember who I was talking to, here, but the group of us (and no, I don't know who was in the group... the people in this dream were mostly indistinct and ephemeral) were going to dinner and then a theatre to see another movie tonight. I Remember eating dinner in a fancy restaurant, but only briefly... like in the dream it was supposed to have happened, so I had a memory of doing it, but it was like... description in a novel, if that makes sense. Take the line "They went out to dinner at a nice restaurant" and turn it into a dream image, and that's about as long as that scene. I was talking, eating, etc, but nothing specific. The restaurant might have been the hotel restaurant that hazel, Joel, Andrew and I ate New Year's dinner at in Halifax two years ago.

After that, we went to the movie theatre. It wasn't set up like any theatre I've actually been to. And for some reason, the management was evil. I was sitting in the front row, or maybe the second, in the 'wing' to the left, with my friends. I remember being suspicious because I knew the management (or the director?) Or this movie was evil. The last time I had been there (or seen one of their films?) I had picked up some kind of parasitic demon(actually something I had a nightmare about as a child). Maybe it was supposed to be Bane... I have had werewolf on the brain a lot lately... In the end, I decided it was okay to stay, because I was in England, and if they did attach something to me, it wouldn't be able to come home with me across the ocean.

Because the management was evil, I (? It might have been someone else, I don't remember now) decided to play some kind of trick on them. I don't remember what it was, now, except that it meant that their staff of costumed midgets (or maybe they were animated dolls, or robots, or something. But they were all short) came pouring into the theatre itself, and sitting down, and wandering, and stuff. Some people in the theatre I was in thought that since they were staff, the front rows were clearly supposed to be reserved for them. The front two rows had pink instead of blue upholstery on them, and were like the chairs that longpig has for her kitchen. I knew better, but didn't want to say anything so as not to get in trouble. (I'm not clear if I was involved in the prank or not. I thought I was, but I didn't think I'd ever left the theatre, either... but it was a dream, could have been both). Eventually, the staff things went away, or settled into the crowd, or something. My aunt Hazelanne came in at this point with her brood. And by brood, I mean, she had younger versions of some of my cousins with her, but mostly they were just random children. The only one I remember is the young version of my cousin Aaron. He was probably around ten in the movie, and he had a small brown cow-boy hat. He had given it (or gotten it from?) his girlfriend, but when she left the theatre for some reason, he gave it to some other girl in the audience, and then forgot to get it back before his gf returned, so he had to race off and retrieve it before he got in trouble.

Meanwhile, AHA had plunked herself and her brood down in the front row of the centre wing, but diagonally beside us, if that makes sense, in the 'reserved' seats. Whoever I was with told her that she couldn't sit there, it was for the staff. And she sniped back at him saying that she could, and we were just pissy because they were blocking our view, and the kids were loud, or something like that. (As I said the whole atmosphere of the dream was unpleasant...) In the end, some kind of compromise must have been reached, because she moved down to the other end of the centre row, and her brood now took over the front two rows. The front of the theatre was empty, pretty much, but there were countless rows of people at the back.

Soon enough, the movie started. There were no previews or anything, but it went right into the credits. There was no title for the film, either. The credits were made up of images... I can't think of the style, but, digital art stuff, like you can see on the re-vamp of Neil Gaiman's redesigned website or the liner notes for Surfacing, by Sarah Mchlachlan. In fact, the credits were being played to a song of hers, Shelter, that I've had going though my head lately.

Oh, I've seen a part of people that I never really want to share
Oh, I've seen a part of people that I never knew was there
Shelter...give them shelter from the coming storm
Give them shelter from the coming storm

Then the movie started.

It was sunny out, but it was raining, and very windy, like you get in England. I could feel things that were happening in the movie, and the camera perspective was my perspective, but I didn't actually have a body, at this point. There was a brick wall, that was crumbling a bit, and a stray cat. It was a cat I've seen near M&I's before, and that I've renamed Jack, because I don't know it's name, even thought it is a girl. It's a grey and black tabby, and really sweet. It yowled because it didn't like being wet, and was being blown off balance by the wind. Then the camera panned over some more walls, to the left, and I was going through people's back gardens. It was surprised that the movie was being shot in England, but it clear was, at this point. I passed by clotheslines, and for some reason, a few people had fires burning in the corner of the yard. I thought that maybe this was to try and keep their clothes drying even though it was raining. Some of the fires were quite big, and I could really feel the heat from them, even though I still wasn't really 'there'. I thought that maybe fire was going to be one of the themes of the movie, or symbolic some how...

Then the scenery shifted. Now I was panning (I am the camera still) though the backyards of my mother's neighbours, approaching her backyard from the left. I remember seeing all the porches and stuff, and thinking that this made more sense, since it was a North American movie. I heard a soft mewing... a kitten. I realized the kitten was in danger, so I tried to figure out where it was coming from.

Then I realized the BBQ was lit. I scrambled over the railing of the porch (which is off the ground. I guess this is just the point when I became physically part of the movie. I knew it was still a movie, too... I knew that the kitten was in the lit barbecue, and that it couldn't escape because the lid was down. Could see its fuzzy head flopping around inside, and the fur was smoking, and it was just mewing timidly. I thought it should have been yowling much louder, or screaming, or something, so that it could have been saved. I knew it was too late for it. I flipped open the lid.

Now, there was no head, or... I don't remember, exactly. The imagery is a bit disjointed at this point. I remember trying to pry its body off the heated grill with a metal spatula. There were hamburgers or hotdogs, or maybe both, on the grill too. I felt horrible. I really was quite awful... I got a whole bunch of other related imagery here too, of various stages of the, well, dying of the kitten. It's fuzzy little feet sticking to the grill and not having anywhere to go... and it's soft pathetic mewing. My mother came running out of the house to stop me. It didn't really look like her, and I realized that she was just an actor. This had all been filmed before, she was part of that, but it was very real to me. She was an automaton, with programmed reactions and lines, but I as really reacting to things as they happened. She cried 'Don't!', running across the porch towards me, wearing a billowing white nightgown, her hands outstretched. I looked down at the spatula. The thing that was on it looked... like a cooked chicken breast, with a face, and little arms and legs stuck out of it at strange angles. It was horrible, but I can't describe it right. It made me feel nauseous, and still does. It smelled like cooked meat. She wanted to put it in a plastic bag, to bury it later, I think. I don't know if she told me the next part, or if I just realized it. A little girl had put the kitten on the BBQ because she wanted to keep it warm, the way people kept their laundry warm with fire. She didn't know that it would die. She hadn't made that association. It turned out that she was friends with this little boy, and later they would be the only ones in their preschool to do well in the anatomy that they were taught... This was the premise for the movie, that this little boy was some kind of genius, but that he wasn't quite right in the head, or something, and this event, the barbequed kitten was going to stick with the little girl, and so she could help him/stop him and keep him moral. It was the prologue to the movie. I couldn't handle it, so my brain woke me up, I think. I still have 'Shelter' stuck in my head.

I can't even eat anything, I'm so not hungry after that. Barbecued kitten. Under other circumstances, I might even be able to find that funny. But not like that.. God. I'm going to get dressed now, and go to the library. Bleh. I thihnk I really need to see a live kitten to cuddle to make me feel better. Something alive and warm and cuddle, even. A chinchilla would also be good :o

I guess I'll have to post this later, too, since the journals are all in read-only mode, or at least, mine is...