elanya

Fuck. I've just discovered that I can't in fact, go to my dance class tonight as I had intended and been looking forward to. I have a stupid book at the library that I forgot about because I couldn't take it out. So instead of goingdancing, which might have put me in a better mood, I have to go stare at pointless pages for as many hours as I can manage. And then I have to go scan things that may or may not come in useful for the presentation I have to make next fucking Thursday. Fuck.

I'm in an incredibly pissy mood to start with. I'm starting to realize how very little time I actually have, and compare it to how much time I *waste*. On things like IC's, or the mall, or going to fucking Scotland for a whole stupid, expensive, indulgent waste. It is to the point now where I can't actually imagine myself having *any* fun whatsoever, because I'll be stressed about all the things I should be but am not doing. Like reading the pile of other ILL books I have that will have to be returned soonishly. There just isn't enough time for me to get what I need out of them all, I think. SO, Fuck.
My patience for dealing with people is greatly dimined today as well. I have acid for everyone, but I at least am managing not to release it on the ususpecting. That could be bad, becausxe the people I've seen the most today are the ones who will be accompanying/guiding me on the scotland trip.

So, right now, I have to go and read what I can of that book, and either take notes or photocopy like mad. I can't believe I forgot it was there. I can't believe that I only had a two week wndow of opportunity to view it, and that I couldn't even take it out, fuck! How stupid is that? The abosolutely fucking cluless Cuntmmaggots who run the library all deserve to have their faces dipped in boiling oil, and then have the skin flayed from their backs while I listen to their chorus of screams.

I have still been working on my doublet, but I've only got the skirt put together. So I don't think I'll have it for the feast. And I don't think I'll care. I also really don't think I'll be able to wear my cool but highly flammable skirt to the fire festival because I can't find anything to fire-proof it with, and that severely pisses me off because I wanted to dress up for it.

My room is a pigstyl because I don't have time to clean it. Or rather, time I have to clean it I've spent sewing pointless garments or ranting in here.

I want to break something. Instead, I think I'll go read about pirates. Anyone who attempts to be cheery at this post can just fuck the hell right off and I hope you get caught in a threshing machine.

Die.