elanya

I am getting sick. I blame Katie, who has the plague - probably caught indirectly through her fiancé. He works in a public school, see. I am tired, and my nose is stuffed up. I think this is at least partly why I have been so cranky lately.

Lack of sleep makes me cranky, I know. I find it hard to concentrate on things, which makes me frustrated, which makes me short tempered. I didn't have too much trouble getting to sleep last night, and I didn't wake up in the middle of the night, as I had been doing the rest of the week, but I'm still tired today.

I don't think that greenville is going to be very good for me, as a person, in the long run. Living here is frustrating, since I can't get out and do things. I have no idea whewre I even need to go to look into getting a driver's licence, let alone trying to get insurance, or whatever else I would need to get a car and a license (on the plus side, their graduated licensing system doesn't apply to older people). I can't get a credit card here, it seems, because I have no credit rating and there isn't anyone who could co-sign for me (and how ridiculous is *that*, anyway? I had a visa forever...). I'm not sure if I can get one through canada either, or what my best option there would be. I am thinking about e-mailing my banker and asking about some things, like if I might want to get a US checking account through TD, and a US Visa, or what. I lack freeedom, here, and it is stifling. It means that the few outlets I do have are that much more important, and technology and other factors are conspiring so that I can't seem to enjoy them either. I really don't want to have to start paying for DSL, since I am already paying (indirectly) for wireless, and since I went out and bought a wireless adapter, too. I am still trying to figure out the most economical phone plan I can work with. I'm afraid that there is really no such thing as heap phone service, though. I doesn't seem to exist. it;s ridiculous. I hate it.

Greenville is not even an especially pretty place. It is okay, but there is nothing here that impresses me. It is just sort of mediocre. Mediocre weather, mediocre landscaping, mediocre people. I feel like I am somehow isolating myself from people here, but I don't know if it is just all in my head or what. Even the things I get invited to do are not ones that I can take advantage of. People offer to help me do things, but really, they have so much other stuff to worry about... meh.

I really wish that I could find someway to enjoy myself here that wasn't so fleeting, or riddled with its own special frustrations that lie beyond my control. And that isn't even starting with all the school-based frustrations. I'm rambling... I started writing this to kill time, and it has turned into self-indulgent whinging again. Life is so hard, nobody likes me :P

meh.