thinking about memes, thinking about thinking...

[elanya]

Right's it's early in the morning, so my brain should be all fresh and alert right?

I've been thinking about memes. SOme of the ones I see go by... mostly the randomly generated quizes, are silly. Sometimes they are amusingly silly, in their own way, or when interpreted correctly. I like taking them for fake people and seeing how they turn out.

Some of them are neat, like the interview one, for instance, or the one where you tell people honestly what you think of them. Or the picture one, where people leave you pictures that make them think of you. In a way, it's egotistical, yes, but it is also an interesting way of seeing what people think of you, and of contrasting perceptions between your friends and between yourself and your friends. I really don't see what's wrong with that. And even if it is 'only' ego stroking, what's wrong with that? Isn't self validation part of the reason we need people? Is it more acceptable to troll for comliments subtly than to ask for them?

Some of memes are creative, like the one that eljuno posted last night, where you leave a comment and he makes you an icon based on one of your lj interests. I think it's pretty nifty, but I won't be joining since I couldn't design an icon if my life depended it. Well I won't be offering you that opportunity, I did ask Juno for an icon. (And my apologies in regards to pronouns by the way, I'm not quite sure where things fall, so to speak...). Just because you're participating in something that other people have done first, does that mean that it isn't worthwhile?

Anyway, I do have more things to say on the subject, but I have to be off to class...

Comments

[forthright.livejournal.com]

But aren't we all insecure from time to time? It's not about 'always' thinking that way, but about occasionally needing validation, and not having any way to get it immediately at hand.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Hence why I used the word "always."

[forthright.livejournal.com]

Right, but the question you asked initially is why fish for compliments at all. And the answer is simply that people need validation at certain moments, and letting it be known is the most efficient way to do that.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

I still think fishing for compliments is a pretty sad way of getting validation.

[forthright.livejournal.com]

Oops, sorry, my last comment accidentally got posted from one of my Perseity LJs. I've deleted it now, and copied it below.

I suppose it depends on how one defines 'fishing'. "Tell me I'm pretty" obviously counts, but how about putting a photo of you when you look your best up on your LJ? Or putting up a story, not so much hoping for constructive criticism but rather trusting in your friends to be kind and encouraging? The lines get blurred.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

It all goes back to intent. When I post pictures of myself, I'm not doing it so people can tell me how hawt I am. Hell, I put plenty of unflattering pictures of myself up for people to see, too. Neither do I post stories so people can tell me how good they are. I do it to entertain. That's my nature.

And perhaps it's perverse, but I enjoy my hate mail much more than I do my fan mail.

[f00dave.livejournal.com]

I think you've made a key observation, here. The intention is what matters.

[forthright.livejournal.com]

Fair enough; I agree that intent has a lot to do with it. I simply disagree that anyone's intent can ever be 100% pure, and would contend that there is always some extent to which flaunting oneself, hoping for compliments, and so on will be involved. Some people are better at (consciously or no) mixing multiple intents and less blatantly "seeking" flattery/compliments, it's true. And yes, I am annoyed when people are constantly going on to the effect of "Aren't I so good?", looking for validation. But with friends who may be going through tough times, who may have self-esteem problems, or may just simply be having a rotten day, I'm inclined to give a fair bit of leeway.

[shanmonster.livejournal.com]

Nothing's 100% pure. Not even Ivory Soap!

I don't think self-esteem problems are helped any by the constant feeding of asked-for praise, though. I mean, wouldn't the person with low self-esteem not be aware that they were getting praise precisely because they were asking for it?

[forthright.livejournal.com]

No, because it's not really a conscious process for a lot of people, I believe. And sometimes where it seems to be conscious to outsiders, it may in fact not be.

Even if it is conscious, though, it doesn't negate its effectiveness. After all, when you post something to entertain people, and then it does its job, you are happy that you have successfully done what you set out to do. And really, the only other options are to ignore the plea for praise entirely (leading to further self-esteem problems) or to reply with something other than praise (same effect). It may not be *helping*, but it doesn't hurt. Of course, if it were a long-term situation, then a friend would want to take some other action to help, but on a once-in-a-while basis, I don't see the problem with it.