elanya

Last night around11:15, mymother passed away. She had been diagnosed with cancer originally back in 1991, but had been in remission for almost seven years when it came back about three years ago. I remember when she called me in Sheffield to tell me that the doctor had told her that things could start going downhill any time from then, as it had metastisized and gone into her brain and bones. Litterally, she told me she could die at any time. She refused to let me come home, even for Christmas, and insisted that I finish my degree.

And it has been about two years since then - two very good years. I guess things started to slide for her around Tuesday, and she was in to the hospital for good on Wedesday night. I stayed with her in the hospital every night since Monday, and a good chunk of the days too. I noticed that her breathing started to get really slow on Wednesday night, and yesterday one of the nurses in the palliative care unit (Judy) told Hazel in the afternoon that we should start making calls. My aunt came back up from Moncton. My grandmother stayed with her husband, who is also in the hospital, because his kidneys are failing. She had come up on Wedesday, and she was wrecked by having two of the people she cared about the most so close to the end. My grandfather is not in any pain, thankfully, he's just really demanding. They want to send him home, because there isn't anything they can do for him at the hospital (I'll note that all hospitals in Moncton are pretty bad places), but my grandmother can't really care for him herself, especially not right now, so I don't know what will happen now.

Last night was pretty hard, but my father was there (my parents have been divorced for years, and he is remaried, but this was very hard on him still), and my aunt and uncle, and of course my sister. Julie, Steve and Jodie came up to see us, and we managed to get ahold of Rob on the phone later in the evening.

There is going to be a lot of things to take care of today. Thankfully, my mother was a very prepared person, and has most of it arranged. Still, there are going to be a lot of hard phone calls to make, and a lot of pretty overwhelming things to deal with (her house, for one). A lot of people have been in to see her, and many of them either didn't understand or didn't want to understand exactly what was going on. She had a lot of very good friends, many of whom have been very kind and helpful to us. Mom was always a very strong and independant woman, and she didn't like for people to know how things were going, so this was a big surprise for a lot of people. My dad and aunt have also been a big help, and I expect they will continue to be, as much as they can. The hospital staff were all very wonderful as well, despite our local hospital's nickname of the Dont Ever Come Here (Actual name: Dr. Everett Chalmer's Hospital).

I would like to thak everyone who has kept me, my mother, and my family in their thoughts and/or prayers. I know that a lot of my friends knew, respested, and loved my mother. She was a really incredible person, and she will be missed very much by a lot of people, especially me. It is really hard for me to conceive that I won't ever see her again, or that my most recent memories of her will always be of the hospital.

I don't think I have much more to say at this point, except to thank those who have already given me their condolences, and all those who still will.