elanya

I keep running in to things that make me regret some of my life choices, or make me feel deeply ambivalent, anyway. For example, there is a conference on maritime archaeology and maritime landscapes in Britain this year that dovetails so perfectly with my interests that it is still a little painful. or trying to explain to people why I'm in London, and so on. Part;y bad luck, partly bad choices, partly.... I don't know. On the one had, there have been a lot of circumstances I couldn't really control, but I am often left feeling like I could have done more to mitigate them if I had *really* wanted to succeed. And then I look at how basically content I am in my life currently, and wonder if maybe I didn't actually want it that hard. And if that's the case, then what was I doing with my time and energy, and what do I have to show for it? And of course, always, where do I go from here?

Just want to say I've totally been here, having spent a year temping and then two years living with my parents after finishing my PhD. This was really poignant to read - I could have written it myself then, if I had been that willing to be honest with myself and my reading list.

However, things seem to have worked out for me. (I keep looking around wondering whether there's been some mistake, if you see what I mean.) I've followed a path that I never could have predicted when I got my degree; I expect the same will be true for you, although I know that's not much consolation when you can't know how it will happen.

Thinking of you anyway. If you want to chat, let me know.