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Stress Dream...
I woke up in the night last night due to a pretty powerfully awful dream which I am going to cut for trigger warnings...
It was late at night. My friend Merc was dropping me off, but for some reason she was in a rush, and I convinced her that she could drop me off at the corner of Texas and Southwest instead of at home (which would have been like... a 2 minute detour o_O).
I actually currently have a blister on my left foot from the shoes I wear all the time, and in the dream, as soon as I realized that it was quite bad and really hurt to walk on. Nevertheless, I started to hobble down the street. For people who aren't familiar with the town, there are apartments on one side of the street, and a strip mall parking lot and a McDonalds on the other. This was true in the dream, but it was also blended with the strip along Park place where the tennis courts are.... so basically there were a few apartments and businesses on one side, and a closed strip mall and empty tennis courts on the side of the street where I was walking.
As I said, I started to hobble home, but I didn't get very far before I saw a man coming towards me. He was dragging one of his feet behind him. He looked a little like an amalgamation of features from some of my less savoury neighbours. He felt sinister to me. Because I was hurt, I didn't have the ability to project much strength. I considered stopping and waiting for him to pass, but I knew he'd already seen my weakness and that I couldn't fool him into thinking I was someone not to mess with. I knew that his apparent weakness was feigned also. When he got a little closer, he stopped limping and started to run at me. I fumbled for my keys, and started to scream, but I knew there was nothing I could do to protect myself from him. It was really awful - luckily that's when I woke up, but I was pretty shaken, and it took me quite a while to get back to sleep, and I'm still a little jittery this morning.
Awful as it was, I think I can identify a lot of the places where this dream is coming from. The Canadian election contributes... Just think of me as Canada, in a sense, and that may become clear. I'm at a place where I feel really powerless and out of control in my life right now - I have no idea what I'll be doing in the fall, or even what country I'll be living in, for example. I've also been thinking a fair amount about rape lately because of things I have been reading and some other things, and maybe that is why it expressed itself that way. I also did a pretty emotional RP scene for one of my games right before I went to bed, and that may have played in to it too. I think some of it (the first part) is about how I prefer to think of myself as independent and don't like to impose myself on people even when they really are willing to help, and even when I really do need it... This relates pretty directly to my current life situation as well.
I have more thoughts, but I'm at work, so this'll have to do you for now. Anyway, I'm glad my boss had tea at work, because on top of staying up too late and waking up in the night with horrible dreams, I forgot mine at home >_
It was late at night. My friend Merc was dropping me off, but for some reason she was in a rush, and I convinced her that she could drop me off at the corner of Texas and Southwest instead of at home (which would have been like... a 2 minute detour o_O).
I actually currently have a blister on my left foot from the shoes I wear all the time, and in the dream, as soon as I realized that it was quite bad and really hurt to walk on. Nevertheless, I started to hobble down the street. For people who aren't familiar with the town, there are apartments on one side of the street, and a strip mall parking lot and a McDonalds on the other. This was true in the dream, but it was also blended with the strip along Park place where the tennis courts are.... so basically there were a few apartments and businesses on one side, and a closed strip mall and empty tennis courts on the side of the street where I was walking.
As I said, I started to hobble home, but I didn't get very far before I saw a man coming towards me. He was dragging one of his feet behind him. He looked a little like an amalgamation of features from some of my less savoury neighbours. He felt sinister to me. Because I was hurt, I didn't have the ability to project much strength. I considered stopping and waiting for him to pass, but I knew he'd already seen my weakness and that I couldn't fool him into thinking I was someone not to mess with. I knew that his apparent weakness was feigned also. When he got a little closer, he stopped limping and started to run at me. I fumbled for my keys, and started to scream, but I knew there was nothing I could do to protect myself from him. It was really awful - luckily that's when I woke up, but I was pretty shaken, and it took me quite a while to get back to sleep, and I'm still a little jittery this morning.
Awful as it was, I think I can identify a lot of the places where this dream is coming from. The Canadian election contributes... Just think of me as Canada, in a sense, and that may become clear. I'm at a place where I feel really powerless and out of control in my life right now - I have no idea what I'll be doing in the fall, or even what country I'll be living in, for example. I've also been thinking a fair amount about rape lately because of things I have been reading and some other things, and maybe that is why it expressed itself that way. I also did a pretty emotional RP scene for one of my games right before I went to bed, and that may have played in to it too. I think some of it (the first part) is about how I prefer to think of myself as independent and don't like to impose myself on people even when they really are willing to help, and even when I really do need it... This relates pretty directly to my current life situation as well.
I have more thoughts, but I'm at work, so this'll have to do you for now. Anyway, I'm glad my boss had tea at work, because on top of staying up too late and waking up in the night with horrible dreams, I forgot mine at home >_