elanya

I *like* Theory. I like high level theory. It interests me. I think about it on my own time. A lot of people don't. I thik I have at least a vague idea of where I stand, from a theoretical point of view. I am, at the least, a relitavist. Sometimes, I will even Go All The Way... but then people start thinking I'm crazy. Sometimes, *I* start thining I'm crazy, or at the very least, that I'm not being fair to some people, be they alive or dead (if they actually ever existed ;) Sometimes I thik that just at the tip of my brain there is a way that I can mediate my stance, or at least explain it, but I've yet to actually get that far. I'm not sure what it would take to puch me to it. If I *had* to think about it, or if I were to really immerse myself in it, to have a lot of time to read other people's theory... that might help, or it might confused me more. I don't know. I have a nice fat expensive theory book sitting at home on my shelf that I'd like to read, but I don't know when I'll make the time. (See, I know myself, if nothing else :p)

But I'm also scared to *use* theory. I'm scared to express it. I'm afraid that I won't be able to defend myself well enough. For example, I don't like Dr. Babit's pet 'multiple working hypotheses' theory. I think it is kind of silly, at the least. I have actual real issues with it, which I won't go in to if I want to have time to get myself some dinner before class at 6:30 :p I'm thinkig Mexican. Dad just gave me some Christmas Money (thanks Dad!). End tangent. But the point is that I'm afraid that I'm not going to be good at trying to be obvertly theoretical... and yet the idea really appeals to me. Is that wrong? Is it just pretentios? Am I actually capable of it? Am I just talking out of my ass?

And what does it mean for my thesis, which is really kind of old-school. It's making a lot of those old positivist, scienced-based assumptions that I'm often wary of. And yet... do I have a choice if I want to look at pirates? There isn't anything else to work with that I've found. So, how can I take theory, and my approach to it, and happily marry it to what I want to do? Where can I find *my* middle range theory?

This is partly rhetorical, partly so that I can remind myself that I do want to try and keep these things all in mind. But seriously, if you have any advice... I'm listening.