Fair enough; I agree that intent has a lot to do with it. I simply disagree that anyone's intent can ever be 100% pure, and would contend that there is always some extent to which flaunting oneself, hoping for compliments, and so on will be involved. Some people are better at (consciously or no) mixing multiple intents and less blatantly "seeking" flattery/compliments, it's true. And yes, I am annoyed when people are constantly going on to the effect of "Aren't I so good?", looking for validation. But with friends who may be going through tough times, who may have self-esteem problems, or may just simply be having a rotten day, I'm inclined to give a fair bit of leeway.