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Good morning, gentlecats.
I here present to you my recipe for Human Stew. This is, I must admit, a work in process, yet i feel I have come quite close to perfecting a recipe for broth. And of course, as all chefs know, have the pleasure is in the creation.
Ingredients:
1 human - the selection of a proper human is a matter of personal taste for each feline, but there are guides available elsewhere for those who lack the certainty and assertiveness to forward a proper claim.
1 large tub of very hot water
Seasonings to taste. In this case I selected Avon's Vanilla Cream foaming marinade, which adds a mild flavour to the broth. The trick is not to select anything that will overpower the natural flavour of your human.
Allow the human to fill the tub with near scalding watter, as hot as it can tolerate. Add the marinade of your choice at the time so that it has the opportunity to properly dissolve. The human will control this process, and it is important to supervise as they have a tendency to add too much. This behaviour can be corrected easily by a quick swat with your paw. Use claws if necessary - it is important that they understand who dominates the relationship. if they do manage to add too much flavour, this can be compensated for in a later stage. The quality of the water itself will also determine how much marinade it is necessary to add. Be sure to taste the water from the tap, and in the tub, to determine the optimum amount to add. If necessary you can also taste the human to gauge how the flavours will mix.
Allow the human to slowly enter the water. I encourage you to consider adding the human before the tub is full, as they can tolerate a higher temperature of water if it is added gradually. Heat is important for a proper stew.
Once the human is added to the tub, it should attempt t submerse itself of its own accord. Supervision is key here as well, as is regular tastng of the water (the paw-dipping method if excellent for this) and the human. A well trained human should allow you to taste it at regular intervals. Licking of the hands and exposed extremities is generally sufficient, but an occasional bite to check flavour penetration may be in order.
It is acceptable, and indeed desirable to allow the human to refresh the water when it begins to cool. You may allow them to add further marinate at ths stage, butif the broth has been over flavoured, do not permit it. again, use of claws may be in order. You can encourage the human to remain in he tub longer by providing refreshments, such as tea, and entertainment such as music and books. Candles can also provide an encouraging stewing atmosphere, but be careful to allow them to place them in locations that could become dangerous to yourself. Scented candles may interfere with the enjoyment of a properly flavoured broth, but careful pairing of scent and flavour can produce an enhanced experience. The confident chef can experiment to find combinations optimized to their own palate. In this instance, I paired the vanilla marinade with a pleasant scented cranberry blood-orange tea, which I was careful to sample myself. I also provided a book, in this case a historical text relevant to the human's interest, so that it could feel relaxed and productive, and not poison the experience with guilt unrelated to improper feline servitude. This encouraged the human to marinate longer than might have otherwise been the case.
The best opportunity to enjoy your broth and marinated human will be when they are still in the tub. Be sure to stay and supervise and make the most of your sampling efforts. Some humans can be encouraged to add further flavour to the broth by scraping the other layer of flesh. Only to allow this after you have licked your fill, but be sure to sample the broth at this point. I don't believe you could be disappointed!
Ideally, after a proper marinate, the human will be fit for consumption, and you may make the attempt. Starting with the feet is traditional. Unfortunately, most humans will at this point use their superior size and strength to defy the desire of their feline masters. Their nudity will make them more susceptible to the application of claws, but take care! I have heard of unfortunate cases where a malicious human has managed to turn the table on their feline master and upended the poor feline into the stew.
If your human escapes devouring, or if you plan to retain them for the creation of further stews and the performance of other servile tasks, it is important to re-stake your claim, as the marinate may have removed previous scent marks. You may begin my licking off excess broth to aid in the drying process. After they are dry, remark the legs by winding and rubbing. The human may be allowed to assist by granting them petting and head scritch priveldges prior to the application of lotions to the skin. The feline scent on the hands will then be spread across the body, reinforcing proper scent-claims.
I hope you will have found the stewing guide of use - constructive commentary and due praise is accepted in the comment section below. Trolls and other detractors can expect to be flayed alive.
Yours,
Maze, Lord Grey.
I here present to you my recipe for Human Stew. This is, I must admit, a work in process, yet i feel I have come quite close to perfecting a recipe for broth. And of course, as all chefs know, have the pleasure is in the creation.
Ingredients:
1 human - the selection of a proper human is a matter of personal taste for each feline, but there are guides available elsewhere for those who lack the certainty and assertiveness to forward a proper claim.
1 large tub of very hot water
Seasonings to taste. In this case I selected Avon's Vanilla Cream foaming marinade, which adds a mild flavour to the broth. The trick is not to select anything that will overpower the natural flavour of your human.
Allow the human to fill the tub with near scalding watter, as hot as it can tolerate. Add the marinade of your choice at the time so that it has the opportunity to properly dissolve. The human will control this process, and it is important to supervise as they have a tendency to add too much. This behaviour can be corrected easily by a quick swat with your paw. Use claws if necessary - it is important that they understand who dominates the relationship. if they do manage to add too much flavour, this can be compensated for in a later stage. The quality of the water itself will also determine how much marinade it is necessary to add. Be sure to taste the water from the tap, and in the tub, to determine the optimum amount to add. If necessary you can also taste the human to gauge how the flavours will mix.
Allow the human to slowly enter the water. I encourage you to consider adding the human before the tub is full, as they can tolerate a higher temperature of water if it is added gradually. Heat is important for a proper stew.
Once the human is added to the tub, it should attempt t submerse itself of its own accord. Supervision is key here as well, as is regular tastng of the water (the paw-dipping method if excellent for this) and the human. A well trained human should allow you to taste it at regular intervals. Licking of the hands and exposed extremities is generally sufficient, but an occasional bite to check flavour penetration may be in order.
It is acceptable, and indeed desirable to allow the human to refresh the water when it begins to cool. You may allow them to add further marinate at ths stage, butif the broth has been over flavoured, do not permit it. again, use of claws may be in order. You can encourage the human to remain in he tub longer by providing refreshments, such as tea, and entertainment such as music and books. Candles can also provide an encouraging stewing atmosphere, but be careful to allow them to place them in locations that could become dangerous to yourself. Scented candles may interfere with the enjoyment of a properly flavoured broth, but careful pairing of scent and flavour can produce an enhanced experience. The confident chef can experiment to find combinations optimized to their own palate. In this instance, I paired the vanilla marinade with a pleasant scented cranberry blood-orange tea, which I was careful to sample myself. I also provided a book, in this case a historical text relevant to the human's interest, so that it could feel relaxed and productive, and not poison the experience with guilt unrelated to improper feline servitude. This encouraged the human to marinate longer than might have otherwise been the case.
The best opportunity to enjoy your broth and marinated human will be when they are still in the tub. Be sure to stay and supervise and make the most of your sampling efforts. Some humans can be encouraged to add further flavour to the broth by scraping the other layer of flesh. Only to allow this after you have licked your fill, but be sure to sample the broth at this point. I don't believe you could be disappointed!
Ideally, after a proper marinate, the human will be fit for consumption, and you may make the attempt. Starting with the feet is traditional. Unfortunately, most humans will at this point use their superior size and strength to defy the desire of their feline masters. Their nudity will make them more susceptible to the application of claws, but take care! I have heard of unfortunate cases where a malicious human has managed to turn the table on their feline master and upended the poor feline into the stew.
If your human escapes devouring, or if you plan to retain them for the creation of further stews and the performance of other servile tasks, it is important to re-stake your claim, as the marinate may have removed previous scent marks. You may begin my licking off excess broth to aid in the drying process. After they are dry, remark the legs by winding and rubbing. The human may be allowed to assist by granting them petting and head scritch priveldges prior to the application of lotions to the skin. The feline scent on the hands will then be spread across the body, reinforcing proper scent-claims.
I hope you will have found the stewing guide of use - constructive commentary and due praise is accepted in the comment section below. Trolls and other detractors can expect to be flayed alive.
Yours,
Maze, Lord Grey.
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