posted by
elanya at 12:32am on 14/03/2002
OKay, so there is this song... Called Delaney's Donkey. I know... most of the song off by heart, and it has been in my head for some unknown reason a lot of late. So I am posting what I can remember of it here. I think I have most of the first part, it is on;y towards the last bit that things get shaky. Then again, I think there might be a more repetitive part that ends each 'verse' that I am missing out... So, if you know the song (yeah right!) can you help me with lyrics? Mom? Hazel? :o
Delaney's Donkey
Oh, Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired,
Temporarily lazy and permanently tired,
A leg at every corner, bollocks in its head,
And a tail to let you know which end it wanted to be fed!
Riley, slyly, says before the races-o
Why not try it, then he brought a rag
They rubbed it, scrubbed it,
They oiled and lubricated it,
They brought it to the line and then the starter dropped the flag
And there was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it
Hogan, Logan, and everyone in town,
Line up attacking it, and pushing it and smacking it
They might as well have tried to pull the town hall down!
The muscles of the mighty, never known to flinch,
They couldn't move the donkey a quarter of an inch,
Delaney lay exhausted, hanging 'round its throat,
With a grip just like a Scotsman on a five pound note!
Starter, Carter, liner up with the rest of them.
When it saw him, it was willing then!
It raced up, braced up,
Ready for the best of them,
They started off to cheer and then it changed its mind again
And there was Riley, pushing it, shoving it and shushing it,
Hogan, Logan and Maryanne McGraw,
She started poking it, and grabbing it and choking it,
It kicked her in the bustle and it laughted Hee-haw!
The crowd began to cheer it, and Raffordy the Judge,
He came up to a system, and still it wouldn't budge,
The jockey who was riding it, Little John McGee,
Was so thoroughly disgusted he went home and had his tea!
Hagin, Fagin, two students of psychology
Swore that they'd shift it with some dynamite.
They bought it, brought it,
And without apology,
The donkey gave a sneeze and blew the whole lot out of sight!
And there was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it,
Hogan, Logan and all the bonny crew.
Police and auxiliary, the garison artillery,
The Second Eniskillens and a life guard too!
(Something about radicates and tories...
Stood there in unity, helping their community,
Oh! The! day Delaney's donkey ran the half mile race!
....
They seized it and harried it,
They picked it up and caried it
Steered it, jeered it, to the winning place....
Then the bookies they all drew aside....
And they all committed suicide!
Oh! The! day Delaney's donkey won the half mile race!
(dah dah-dah-leee-ah-dah, dah-dah dah!)
Right, I am now going to read The Book of Margery Kempe, some weird religious chick from the fifteenth century...
Delaney's Donkey
Oh, Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired,
Temporarily lazy and permanently tired,
A leg at every corner, bollocks in its head,
And a tail to let you know which end it wanted to be fed!
Riley, slyly, says before the races-o
Why not try it, then he brought a rag
They rubbed it, scrubbed it,
They oiled and lubricated it,
They brought it to the line and then the starter dropped the flag
And there was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it
Hogan, Logan, and everyone in town,
Line up attacking it, and pushing it and smacking it
They might as well have tried to pull the town hall down!
The muscles of the mighty, never known to flinch,
They couldn't move the donkey a quarter of an inch,
Delaney lay exhausted, hanging 'round its throat,
With a grip just like a Scotsman on a five pound note!
Starter, Carter, liner up with the rest of them.
When it saw him, it was willing then!
It raced up, braced up,
Ready for the best of them,
They started off to cheer and then it changed its mind again
And there was Riley, pushing it, shoving it and shushing it,
Hogan, Logan and Maryanne McGraw,
She started poking it, and grabbing it and choking it,
It kicked her in the bustle and it laughted Hee-haw!
The crowd began to cheer it, and Raffordy the Judge,
He came up to a system, and still it wouldn't budge,
The jockey who was riding it, Little John McGee,
Was so thoroughly disgusted he went home and had his tea!
Hagin, Fagin, two students of psychology
Swore that they'd shift it with some dynamite.
They bought it, brought it,
And without apology,
The donkey gave a sneeze and blew the whole lot out of sight!
And there was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it,
Hogan, Logan and all the bonny crew.
Police and auxiliary, the garison artillery,
The Second Eniskillens and a life guard too!
(Something about radicates and tories...
Stood there in unity, helping their community,
Oh! The! day Delaney's donkey ran the half mile race!
....
They seized it and harried it,
They picked it up and caried it
Steered it, jeered it, to the winning place....
Then the bookies they all drew aside....
And they all committed suicide!
Oh! The! day Delaney's donkey won the half mile race!
(dah dah-dah-leee-ah-dah, dah-dah dah!)
Right, I am now going to read The Book of Margery Kempe, some weird religious chick from the fifteenth century...
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